March 19, 2010

• 32

  I am sitting in bed
  day over
  bath done
  cozy under my blankets getting ready to watch something online
  when from the window behind me
  i hear the haunting whistle of a train
  and the thudding of the tracks as it crosses

  and suddenly

  I am 94
  sitting in my wheelchair in a splash of sunlight
  hands folded in my lap
  because they’ve nothing to do
  sparse white hair combed neatly
  in my blue housedress
  when from the window behind me
  i hear the whistle of a train
  and the thudding of the tracks

  and I remember

  when my house was sprinkled with toys
  when my boys slept quietly while the house still whispered echoes
  of their calling, laughing, giggling, crying, bellowing, shrieking, “mommy!!”‘s
  when i am glad to sit down
  and be alone
  and by myself
  or with their daddy
  when the day’s are full
  and boys grow quickly
  and skin is soft
  and chatter is constant
  and boys love their mommy
  and need her
  and bring her dandelions
  and the clothes flap on the line
  and life is colorful

  I wonder

  Do I remember hugging their sweet little boy bodies enough?
  Spending enough time laughing and just being with them?
  Did I not miss the sweetness of the days in all the tedious work of them?
  I hope the memory is sweet
  And brings a smile
  and not tears.

  • 4:07 pm
  • 6 Comments