“I asked Israel to pinch me, and he did, and apparently I wasn’t dreaming, because it hurt.”  Gabriel, in all seriousness, who could not hardly believe that he beat his Perplexus game that he had been diligently concentrating on for quite a while.  

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Conversation overheard between boys talking in the bathtub – “Are you saying I’m dumb?!  I’m in second grade.  Of course I know how to spell ‘Jeremiah’.”  long pause.  ”J. A. R. E. (then changed to A) M. I. E.”  Satisfied silence.  

*************

Zion – (looking over at the half-gallon of milk on the stove) Mom, is that the mini-milk?  

Me – (confused) Huh??  The mini-milk?  Yes, I guess so.

Zion – Well, if that’s the mini-milk, when are we going to get the mick-milk?  

Minnie.  Mickey.  Someone has been meditating on Disney World.

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“Tickle..,” Layla said to me as I pulled her yellow and grey-striped dress over her head, explaining to me what she was doing to her belly.  ”Tickle mine body.”  

Tonight I am privy to the kiss she gives her stuffed orange cat
   the thrum of her heartbeat against my hand as she flips onto her stomach
   the sigh she gives as she settles into the crook of my arm
      her little fingers scrabbling across my neck and collarbone, scrunching sleepily

I feel the weight of her sleep as it descends
   and sniff her maple-syrup hair
      and feel her gentle breaths landing with whisper-feet on my face.

She clutches her cat
    and stares out thoughtfully into the darkened room
       her curly-haired head pillowed by my arm

The fan whirs loudly
   and the red lights of the heater glow warmly
      and we rock
  silently
     in our chair 
in our warm-cocoon
    and wait for sleep to come.

She is recently weaned
   and
will one day fall asleep on her own, but

for this time
    I will accept this trust that she gives me so wholly
       in the comfort she finds in my warmth and my presence
   and I will hold it gently
       and her.

These are our tonights, for now

tomorrow will come
soon enough.

Zion – “Yellow jackets, they sting with their poky parts.”

Today was a mite hairy.  Layla woke up needy and clingy and clung and fussed far into the morning, and then, after playing happily for a bit, accidentally leaned her hand on the glass of the wood pellet stove, which is the only untouchable part of the stove.  The poor thing was so sad and upset and she had little blisters on her fingers and a red palm.  I slathered her hand with the burn and wound ointment we have, and gave her Motrin and put her in front of Dora the Explorer on my lap, but she shook her hands and cried and fussed until after her nap, when her hand didn’t seem to bother her anymore.  Then her two brothers were mopey and whiny and by the time Tim came home for the day, my eyes were wide and staring and there was steam coming out of my ears.  

So I left and went to my new treasure store, Roses, which I have discovered to have (generally) delightfully cheaper prices than Walmart, and bought the older boys some socks and found a new Old Navy shirt there for Zion for $3???  I thought this was very confusing.  I also thought I was getting a plastic trashcan, but changed my mind at the register when it rang up as $17.50.  !!!! I then found it at Walmart for $9.97.  Weird.  

Anywho, while I was out I suddenly remembered that it was Valentine’s Day, and that last year we had a fun little party to celebrate, so I got a red plastic tablecloth and some candy hearts and yummy finger food and some red tulips and took them home and we had a happy little party together.  I came back much refreshed from my little jaunt and cut quick valentines out for everyone and told them what I love about them.  Gabe’s was that he is such a cheerful help, Israel’s was that he is cheerful and generous, Zion’s was that he is happy and likes to get things for people that he knows they will like, and Layla’s was that she makes my heart smile.  Tim’s said that I absolutely LOVE living life with him, because I do.  

I also gave the kids little dollar gifts that I had found; Layla, Zion, and Israel got a mini-dustpan and broom, and Gabe got a red microfiber duster.   (I thought this might come in useful for myself. Ahem.)  Then the boys watched a Star Wars movie, and a fine time was had by all.  I thoroughly enjoyed my red tulips in their yellow vase on a yellow cloth in the middle of my table.  

Tim and I don’t usually get each other gifts for something like Valentine’s Day – it’s simply neither of our love languages and we would rather use money on something else.  Even birthdays and Christmas are that way.  That’s just the way we are, and I guess it’s good that we’re both that way if one of us is.   I felt totally cared for and delighted to come home and find out that he and the boys cleaned the house while I was gone.  That was all the Valentine’s I could ask for!!!  Maybe if we had more cash flow it would be different.  I just know I preferred the ability to pick up a latte and a trashcan even MORE than I would have liked roses.  I’m probably just weird.    Tim doesn’t necessarily care for generic gifts, but feels loved if I buy him something that I know he specifically wanted.  This Christmas it was a warm bathrobe from Walmart that he had sent me a picture of after seeing it when running in to pick something up for me.  He looooves it.    

Here were the three youngest kiddos earlier today, all clustered together happily at the end of the table eating their cereal.  

The boys all love to sit next to Layla, and they all get along very well generally.  I just thought it was so cute.  

Well, about two years exactly after I had two boys with the flu in the hospital…and about one year exactly after I ended up in the hospital having emergency surgery to drain a giant abscess on my chest…I ended up in the hospital with Layla and her bacterial pneumonia that kept us in there from Friday evening to Monday morning.  Goodness.  What is it with us and February??!!  

Layla had a cold that lasted over two weeks that included a wet cough.  Wednesday night she came down with a new cough, and then on Thursday she woke up from her nap with a fever and a respiratory rate of 60.  I took her in to see the doctor that afternoon to make sure she wasn’t coming down with pneumonia, but the doctor thought she just had croup, and gave her a steroid.  That night she still sounded bad, her respiratory rate was still in the 60′s, and she was having retractions.  She improved some after an albuterol nebulizer treatment, and after calling the doctor again, I decided to keep her home.  The next evening, she didn’t have a fever, but was still breathing 60 times a minute, still retracting, and I decided to take her into the ER.  There they diagnosed her with bacterial pneumonia and decided to keep her since she was working so hard to breathe, even though her oxygen saturation was in the low to mid-90′s.  

It was a rather horrible night.  Layla would go to sleep when I nursed her, but wake up every time I laid her down.  I got about a half-hour of sleep the first night, and about three hours both nights after that.    The second night she was just TOTALLY out of it and exhausted and SCREAMED and SCREAMED and SCREAMED and SCREAMED from about 12 AM to 1 AM (cringe when thinking of surrounding rooms) and NOTHING I could do would calm her down.  The nurse called the doctor upon my request to see if there was ANY WAY we could go home since the plan was to discharge her in the morning, but the doctor wanted us to stay, but did order her IV out, which helped her a lot, and then she conked out, with intermittent bouts of spasmodic coughing waking her up.  

The next morning we were getting ready to be dismissed when the doctor came back with a very sheepish look and told me that her blood cultures had come back showing some growth, and that it was probably just a contaminant, but she didn’t feel that she could release her until they got clean blood cultures back.  So the IV went back in, and more blood was drawn and poor little Lucy Pants was a sad little princess.  It was ok, though, and actually I think the additional fluids and IV antibiotics she got were helpful, because she was obviously not feeling very well for most of the day and had perked up much more by the evening.  

But, wow.  Was I ever glad to get home.  (The blood culture was negative the next morning.)  The really really great thing about all of this is that my parents had already been planning to come visit this weekend, and so they came out as planned on Saturday morning, and Tim came in and spent the rather torturous day with us MUCH to my great relief.  They left Sunday afternoon as Dad had to get back for work, and it was SO AWESOME that they could help.  Big PHEW.  Thanks, Mom and Dad!!!

The other thing to remember from this experience was that Layla nursed from what felt like the moment we got into the ER until the moment we went home.    It was like she was glued to me.  Good gracious me, child.

Things I have learned from this experience:

1.  Home. Is. A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. !!!!!

2.  Ginger-ale with ice and a straw in a little Styrofoam cup is the bomb.  LOVE IT.  

3.  I really sort of wish I could have cable JUST SO I could have HGTV and watch it 24/7 around the clock.  Looooove me some House Hunters. 

The last night we were there, Layla was feeling much perkier and she trailed all over her room with the stuffed cow in hand that someone gave her down in the ER, playing “Cow Get”.  Cow get the pillow.  Cow get the blanket.  Cow get the IV pole.  Cow got everything.

“Well, we might as well give that cradle back to your parents, because we sure won’t be needing it anymore!” – Tim (uttered a few days ago)

Aaaaaand references from my very last post:  ”I AM [finally] NOT….PREGNANT”, paired with “I’m feeling exhausted and achy tonight….and eating rice krispy bars with great relish,” and finally “Earlier, I was so cranky and crabby…”  So cranky and crabby, in fact, that I said out loud, “The last time I was this cranky I was pregnant with Layla!”  

Welllll….surprise, surprise.  And it definitely is.  A surprise.  (But a good one.) 

This morning I took Zion and Israel and Layla to Goodwill with me to buy an armoire for Layla’s room with some Christmas money that she had received.  I saw it the day before when I was perusing, thought diligently about it all evening, and got there on the stroke of 9 AM in hopes that no one had purchased my treasure.  :)  They had not, and now it’s mine to go pick up.  

While we were there, the boys of course wanted to go look at the toys, and I agreed.  Israel immediately wanted to buy a red truck he found and a big yellow water gun to give to his best bud, Jeremiah, who is having a birthday “in six more days”, according to a most serious Israel.  I also agreed to this, and then caught sight of a little firetruck riding car that was just what I had been looking for in Layla’s size, but instead of $30, it was $1.50.  Happy sigh.  She happily rode her car through the store, up to the cash register, and out into the parking lot to the minivan.  

Layla is sitting on the rug beside me quietly and diligently messing with the snaps on the shirt that she had on before her bath.  

She is turning the fabric over and folding it up over and over again, with her little legs crossed in front of her, and has been doing so for about 15-20 minutes, with the utmost concentration and only a bit of chatter now and again.  I think that she is trying to snap the “snipper-snappers”, as I call them to her.   Actually, I usually say, “Let’s get your snipper-snappers, Mrs. Mappers!”  (I used to say the same thing to her brothers, but I called them MR. Mappers instead.)  She likes to cooperate and talk about her snipper-snappers when I do that.  

Israel, Zion, and Layla all have some hacking/coughing/snotting bug that had Israel up in the middle of the night vomiting after coughing.  I kept him home from school today so he doesn’t have to pass it on to anyone else.  

I have been on a rip-snortin’ tear decorating this house since we got back from Christmas, partially fueled, I believe, by the fact that, although Layla is 21 months old, for the first time in 9 years, I AM NOT ALSO PREGNANT.  Gives one much more energy and motivation, it does, to not be growing another human being whilst chasing after multiple little anklebiters at the same time.  Pictures are getting hung, bathroom hardware put up, shelving installed.  It’s all very delightful, four years after moving into this house.  

I’m feeling exhausted and achy tonight after getting up four billion times last night with the young coughing whipper-snappers (can I just say that cold-mist vaporizers are LIFE SAVERS), and am lying here quite comfortably on the couch by the pellet stove (which is off due to the crazily warm weather we are having) listening to the wind roaring outside, and eating rice krispy bars with great relish.  

Earlier, I was so cranky and crabby that I went and clambered into a hot whirlpool bath before supper, surrounding myself with yummy smelling pina colada candles.  For supper I fixed the ultra quick and easy Cheese Tortellini soup that contains chicken broth, frozen cheese tortellini, and frozen brussels sprouts.  The boys LOVE this soup, and as they were getting up to the table, Gabe said, with a disbelieving tone, “Did you know that some kids don’t like brussels sprouts??!?”  He shook his head over the incongruity of such a thing.  ”I LOVE brussels sprouts!!  And some kids don’t like broccoli either!!  I LOVE broccoli!”  Israel heartily agreed with these sentiments, and I thought that perhaps they were two oddities in the child world.  

Later, at the table, Zion, who was seated next to me, gregariously informed me that he didn’t USE to like “these” (the aforementioned sprouts), but now he does.  I “Oh!”-ed and “Well, that’s good!”-ed, and then watched him out of the corner of my eye as he bravely popped the entire sprout into his mouth and began to chew with a slightly disconcerted look.  He chewed and chewed and….chewed…and…slowed…and then a look of great distaste came over his face and he not-so-discreetly opened his mouth and dropped the whole shebang on the floor beneath his chair.  I would say that would be a much more normal child-reaction to “sprouts”, myself..  ;)  They’re an acquired taste, I think.

One thing that always makes me grin about Zion is how widely he opens his mouth to take bites of food.  Here he is by the window enjoying a noodle snack the other day.

I just liked this combo of boy and sunlight and yellow and plant and found it aesthetically pleasing.

As we’re leaving the McDonald’s drive-thru…

Zion:  That was a ga-wohl (girl).  I hate ga-wohls.

Mommy:  What?!  Why do you hate girls??

Zion:  I just hate little ga-wohls.  Except I don’t hate Layla.  And Gabe and Israel don’t hate Layla.  They think she’s a quootie-pie.  And I think she’s a quootie-pie too. And Dad thinks she’s a teense.  And you think she’s a princess.

**************

(As Zion and Layla are “racing” back and forth down the hallway as I work on unpacking Layla’s clothes from Christmas)

Zion:  Mom, I was in first place and I won!!

Me:  Good job!!

(We both pause to look at Layla, who is delightedly stretched out on a bed of clothes in the hallway, wiggling her feet happily and grinning.)

Zion:  (with happy relish) And Layla was in the Cutie Pie place and the Princess Place!  (He finds his sister very cute when he is not finding her very annoying.  )

*************

(This was the face he made when I told him to smile.    It makes me grin widely.)

Layla brought me this dress yesterday, out of her closet, and I put it on over her pajamas.  She gazed down at her dress-clad belly happily and said “P’ea!” (pretty) with satisfaction.  She is very aware of “pretty” clothes, and loves to be told that her shirt or dress is pretty, and will comment that something I am wearing is “p’ea!”.  This dress is hand-me-down from her cousin Aubrey.

Seeing her in this dress reminded me that I have wanted to take her picture for, oh, like, MONTHS, so I hurried to get the rest of her clothes and went out the door to take her picture.  She was happily cooperative, and loves to smile at her daddy, who was helping me.  

She’s a “p’ea” lil’ ol’ cutie.  

**************

Layla loves to color or scribble with a pencil on paper, books, walls, or herself.    She appears to be left-handed.

 *************

Ms. Teensy Moo has been sleeping TERRIBLY since returning from our Christmas travels, in case anyone is interested.  Cutting eye teeth and a cough that makes her occasionally vomit are the current problems.  NOT a big fan of this new sleeplessness we have going on around here AT ALL.  

She’s quite the dear when she is sleeping, though…  Look at that precious little ear and sweet little head.  Smooch smooch smooch smooch….

*************

Layla loves her baby dolls.  Here she was rocking and singing to her baby that she had wrapped up in a blanket.  She’ll sing “Nighty night, c’ose (close) your eyes”, from a song that Grandma Edith has sang to her.  She loves to be cuddled and sang to, also.

*************

Baby Girl loves her some “ba’s” (baths).  She is so cute all wrapped up in her towel post-bath, and walks around very happily in her towel for a while.  

**************

Layla is talking a lot and very active.  She loves to run around the house with her brothers, and crow and screech with glee.  She is quite the adamant little pal, and has NO TROUBLE sticking up for herself with them when she feels her rights and privileges have been trod upon unnecessarily.    She is quick to answer “Doa!!” (NO!!) to most things you may ask her, without necessarily meaning it.  She is happy and cheerful and affectionate and cuddly.  She asks for “Daddy tisses” (Daddy kisses) before going to bed – and just asks about him a lot, period.  ”Daddy ‘back?” “Yes, Daddy will be back.” She LOOOOOVES her daddy and brothers, and they come right in line after Mommy.   Mommy is still the bees knees.  She looooves to help me with everything I do.  She loves to look outside for “kie-kie’s” (kitty-kitties).  

One night when she was up late, Tim took her right outside the front door to listen to the train passing, which is about 1/4 mile away and sounded very loud with the cloud cover.  She came back inside and hurried over to the couch where I was sitting and said in a hushed tone with an astonished look on her face, “Mommy!!  Noisy!!!”  She talked about “Noisy!” for a few days later, again with a wide-eyed, listening look on her face.  

************
Girlfrien’ is an AVID pepper-er.