August 30, 2011
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Sweet Dreams
It is midnight. I lie with my eyes closed in the darkened bedroom. Layla is draped over my stomach, facing the ceiling, busily sucking her pacifier and playing with my fingers that I keep at a gentle wiggle in front of her face. Her legs kick kick kick, pounding the mattress. I am tired. Zion had me up for about 45 minutes the night before, and between that and feeding Layla at night, I’m ready for a good night’s sleep. My fingers gently tap Layla’s face – cheek nose mouth chin forehead. Her pudgy tummy.
My mind wanders to Clement Moore and starts reciting…
“and out on the lawn there arose such a clatter….His eyes how they twinkled! His dimples how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry…He had a broad face and a little round belly, which shook as he laughed like a bowl full of jelly…” (that’s what makes me think of Layla
) Layla is getting noisier and kickier. So as not to disturb Tim, who is sleeping beside us, I wearily drag myself up and out of the bed and into the living room, where I sink onto the couch and lay my head back as Layla nurses. My brain flows seamlessly into the lulling rhythm of Sandra Boynton, “…and down once more, but not so fast! They’re on their way to bed at last. The day is over, they say good night, and somebody turns out the light. The moon is high, the sea is deep, they rock…and rock…and rock… to sleep.”
Lately Layla has been thrilled to be with her mommy. She gets a big smile on when she sees me and flaps her arms happily. She goes from fussy with Tim to happy with me; kind of sweet.
It is 1:45 AM. Layla is asleep. We head back down the hall, this baby and her mommy, to soft pillows (only for me) and cool sheets, to sleep and sweet dreams. This is my tonight, today.
